1. “I’m tired of pretending like I’m not bitchin’, a total freakin’ rock star from Mars.”
2. “I’m still alive, which is pretty cool.”
3. “Let’s talk about something exciting. Me.”
4. “I’m bi-winning. I win here, and I win there.”
5. “Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber.”
6. “My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math.”
7. “I’ve got tiger blood, man.”
8. “I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen.”
9. “Sorry my life is so much more bitchin’ than yours. I planned it that way.”
10. “Just sit back and enjoy the show.”
Please note: This list is as of March 1, 2011, at 8:06 p.m. Charlie is on a media rampage, and more mind barf is spewing out each day. This list is subject to change after 20/20 tonight.
1. MC Hammer: Best. Performance. Ever. Go ahead, laugh. Most people do. I don’t care. Hammer knows how to break it down. His rapping is flawless, and his dancing is insane.
2. Jessica Simpson: She’s my girl. I’ve seen her in concert once, and it was a magical night. Not only does she have an incredible voice, she really connects with her audience. Her stories about life, love and self-esteem hit home. She comes across as genuine, funny and relatable. On top of that, she’s gorgeous. And she wears great shoes. And designs great shoes for that matter.
This night rocked.
3. *NSYNC: I love boy bands. And, I’ve always been an *NSYNC kind of girl. I saw Justin Timberlake in concert, and he is fabulous — incredible dancer, great voice, and he even plays the piano. But, I want the synchronized dancing, the harmonies, the coordinated outfits. I want the boy band treatment. Please, *NSYNC, let’s have a reunion! Well, my plea should really just be to Justin since I don’t think the other members have a lot going on at this point. So, let’s do it, JT! Reunion and tour dates!
4. Willie Nelson: I almost saw Willie once, and then his tax issues hit, and the concert: canceled. Boo! That was many, many years ago, but I still want to see Willie.
5. Alanis Morissette: She was pre-party music in college. My roommate and I got ready for countless parties while listening to “Jagged Little Pill.” Sometimes the album also became the party. On a Saturday college night not so long ago (OK, who am I kidding?? It was SO long ago), we were all drinking Cinnamon Schnapps and marveling at how lovely everyone’s breath smelled. For further entertainment, we decided to act out “Hand in my Pocket.” It’s amazing how much fun one can have with their hand in their pocket while giving a high-five, flicking a cigarette, giving the peace sign, playing the piano, and hailing a taxicab. Try it sometime after imbibing Cinnamon Schnapps. I guarantee good times … and good breath. That album rocks my world to this day, and I’d love to see Alanis rock in person.
6. Snoop Dogg: I’m really not sure how this was accomplished, but my first Snoop album came about in high school: Doggystyle. Not being able to watch cartoons because they were too violent or “Friends” because it was inappropriate (or basically any other mainstream TV show or any movies with a rating higher than PG), you can understand that this was quite the feat. Now, though, I’d like to sip some gin and juice and listen to the rhyme stylings of Snoop … laid back … not freaked out that my parents may find my Snoop stash.
7. Jay-Z: I think this dude is brilliant. I’d spend my cheese to see H to the Izz-O, V to the Izz-A. And I’d get my damn hands up cause that’s the anthem.
8. Britney Spears: I will admit, part of the reason is to see if she brings the crazy. But, the other part of me actually really likes Britney. I mean, who doesn’t like some “Hit Me Baby One More Time” more than one time? I know I do.
9. Tony Bennett: My grandpa liked Tony, so I like Tony. I bet it may be a pretty tame concert, but sometimes, tame is good.
10. Justin Bieber: Yep. I just typed that. As I may have mentioned, I’m a sucker for sugary pop music. The Bieb delivers this to me. Plus, he’s a pretty sweet dancer. I think the mob of screaming teenage girls that follow him everywhere may be a tad bit annoying, though.
* Note: This list only contains living artists. If I included those not with us on earth anymore, it would include: Elvis Presley, Michael Jackson, Johnny Cash, Notorious BIG, Tupac, Frank Sinatra, Run DMC and Nirvana.
